If you’re like us at Zenith, you too are an irritating person to watch firearm-rich action movies with. You probably point out everything from chronological problems, to poor trigger discipline, to those endless magazines we all wish we had. And since you’re reading this particular blog, we’re going to assume you are also a true aficionado of roller-delayed goodness, and that you love seeing the little Teutonic select-fire Parabellum wonder—the MP5—in action courtesy of the anti-gun hypocrites in Hollywood.
It would take pages upon pages to list and discuss all the times the MP5 and its many variations have appeared in a Hollywood production. Therefore, we have resigned to sharing just our most-favored five:
- Everybody’s favorite Christmas movie, Die Hard, wins our award for the best movie ever in which the MP5 is given center stage. The number of one-liners in Die Hard is epic, and the movie boasts what is arguably one of the best-written one-liners in history: “Now I have a Machinegun Ho-Ho-Ho.” Given its extensive portrayal of the MP5 punishing Euro-Yuppie terrorists led by Hans Grüber, if this movie is not on your list of holiday films, it should be. If you have never seen this movie, please exit your bubble forthwith.
- Blackhawk Down takes our number two spot. We appreciate this movie’s depiction of soldiers and valor the way they really are, not as they’re sometimes idealized to be. This is not a movie to watch when you’re in less than an optimal mood, but it makes for a good selection on days when you’re solid and need to wax a little reflective. The movie’s dignified portrayal of Mike Durant and Randy Shughart wielding the MP5 stands as one of the more realistic depictions of modern combat we think we’ve seen.
- The Matrix stands alone in third place. While the action is pure science fiction, the movie’s extremely cynical take on cosmic reality does tend to promote genuine pause and contemplation of the more important questions of life. The MP5 gets plenty of face time in The Matrix as well, although mostly in the form of the MP5K. To this day it is one of the most visually stunning films ever made, and the somehow persistently futuristic lines of the more than half-century old MP5 add to the overall mind rush.
- Sicario is another one of those films you really shouldn’t watch if you aren’t feeling fantastic. In fact, it’s pretty grim and more than a little graphic in its details regarding the realities of the war on drugs. However, Benicio del Toro’s character Alejandro Gillick definitely gives the MP5SD some love—to the delight of us old-schoolers who still chomp at the bit to see it lay down the law on bad guys. If you want to see the SD showcased, this is the film to watch.
- Our final selection doesn’t feature the MP5 as much as it should, but just to see it appear in Boondock Saints somehow warms the cockles of our wee hearts. Yes, we are fully cognizant that it is pure fiction, but the vigilante motif is always popular, and for the majority of the pro-gun community in the U.S., this film resonates. If you like watching the bad guys lose, and you want to see the MP5 have a hand in it, check out this film.
We hope you have enjoyed our list of the top five films featuring the MP5. We know you’re probably critiquing it as you read these words, but we’re probably in agreement that the MP5 is not going anywhere. As far as film is concerned, it’s a mainstay.